the early exiter starter pack

In my adventure I've clumsily fell upon a few books, podcasts, and blog which ultimately turned out to be the very stepping stones responsible for saving my life. As I read/listened to each of these, I started hearing them call upon the works of one another and I began to realized I was on the …

because before and afters are my *FAVORITE* THING

I love, love, LOVE before and afters. I love to compare and contrast and measure change. I used to do this obsessively with "progress" photos of my body, but looking at the difference between my drunk and sober faces is so much more fulfilling a hobby these days. I think because I see the old …

counting days – what are the rules?

Jun 25, 2017. This was the day I decided to change my life, forever. I was tearful and scared and sick of feeling both of these things. I was drinking way more than I should have - wine nearly every night, drunk atleast 2 -3 times a week, and probably blacking out monthly, if not …

when the honeymoon is over

Some recovering people call this period the "pink cloud." That period of time, be it 2 weeks, 1 month, 6 months - where you're in absolute awe at the world as if you are seeing it for the first time since you were 7. You feel like a kid again, everything is exciting and invigorating …

“trust the process,” AKA manifesting your universe

I've said it hundreds of times and I'll say it again: since starting down this path of, I don't know, alternative living (I still struggle with finding the appropriate word for this and me - "..sober"? "..alcohol-free"? "..drinking less"? "..cutting back, like, ALOT"?) the jigsaw puzzle of my life has been coming together. For 30 …

stephen king found his way into my universe

"The idea that creative endeavor and mind-altering substances are entwined is one of the great pop-intellectual myths of our time." -Stephen King, On Writing. My boyfriend randomly bought me this book when we first started dating. I love writing but I live for good grammar, prose, style .. so this work was right up my …

“i’m a karen”

I absolutely love My Favorite Murder, and so should you. However, for those of you who may not be obsessed with murder and death but also with laughing loudly about these things - My Favorite Murder is a dark comedy/true crime podcast with distinct but palatable feminist undertones. It's the brainchild of comedian Karen Kilgariff …

i got locked out of hot yoga class

..and other things that make me want to give up on trying to live a wholesome, purpose-driven life. When you don't drink, you love Sundays. I love getting up early and making the absolute most of the day. Since I am newly a not-drinker, sometimes I get too excited about the prospect of a full, …

“…and I spend all my days drinking, so I don’t have to spend them thinking…”

I just sat down to start this post with totally different intentions. However, today it is slightly overcast in San Diego and so, being the pseudo-weekend-hipster that I am, I'm sipping my Bulletproof coffee gazing longingly out the window, a single tear rolling as I wonder if I will ever see the sun again. To …

guys, i’m scared.

I'm scared to write in this blog because I am afraid to commit to it. I am afraid to tell the whole world how amazing I feel because I am afraid of what this means for me long term. What if I start this blog, then in a month, a year, 5 years find myself …