when insta-strangers trigger you

I don't usually get so worked up over something that it drives me to write. My posts are thought out for days, weeks, usually following some small, inciting event. And they are pretty neutral. But today I just felt so uneasy about something that I  saw on instagram of all fucking places that I had …

rock bottoms, high bottoms, false bottoms and everything in between

I have a hard time with the concept of rock bottom, for a few reasons. First, I wholeheartedly believe you do NOT have to hit a "rock bottom" in order to step out of the drinking cycle. It is OK to make an early exit before your drinking destroys everything. Of course, some people need …

you’re doing the thing!

I was at my gym yesterday, which is a circuit-based training studio. It requires the coaches to be able to multi-task and give direction to 2 or 3 groups of people simultaneously, up to 45 in one class. I was running on the treadmill, daydreaming myself away to anywhere but there, and was wondering what …

please don’t ever stop calling me ma’am.

This is going to come out way more bougie-sounding than it is, but: I recently did an interview with Donnie Boivin for his Success Champions podcast. For this show, Donnie interviews "Ordinary People, Entrepreneurs, Veterans, First Responders, Business Owners and visionaries that have a story to tell." I guess that's me. The Veteran part. I've …

stepping stones to recovery

I've recently finished Blackout by Sarah Hepola and am currently in the throes of The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray, and both have got me thinking what my first days of sobriety looked like. I mean like, first first days last June/July where I somehow strung together several weeks (only to dip …

what it’s like to throw your story into the universe.

          2 weeks ago, I was video interviewed by Annie Grace, author of This Naked Mind - the book that effectively changed the course of my life and began my recovery journey. No big deal, right? Sure. This morning, the interview was posted on her podcast as a part of her …

FAB, FOMO and our fave female imbibers

Drinking and alcohol is everywhere. I know, yeah, duh welcome to literally the day you were born. I'm not talking Most Interesting Man Ever Dos Equis memes or Coors Light commercials urging us to "drink responsibly" though. No, beyond that - I am talking about the subtle suggestion, the justification and re-affirmation of reasons to …

thoughts on AA

If you are new to the recovery scene or just dipping a little pinky toe into the world via my blog, you may think: A. AA is the only way to quit drinking and that.. B. AA is only for "AA people" who have hit "rock bottom" and spend alot of time locked away, isolated …

recovering out loud.

I have been maintaining this blog for some time now, over 6 months. I started it scared and confused and unsure of what to call myself or what was even really going on; I wasn't really embracing of the term "recovery," nonetheless "recovering out loud." A few weekends ago, after returning from the She Recovers …

finding (and claiming) what is mine

I am currently grappling with the reality of what it's like to live, like really live, "sober," and that it isn't all puppies and rainbows and having a perfect 6 pack. Getting rid of alcohol initially feels like a cure-all, like the biggest "if I knew then what I knew now" moment I've ever had. …