My last drink was on 12/16/17.
My name is Danielle, and I am a 32 year old woman who walked away from a 13 year relationship with alcohol.
My drinking began ambivalently enough, but as I got older I started to see it for what it truly was, and what it was doing: destroying my life, bit by excruciating bit. With the help of one bad breakup, a few life-changing books, one really good therapist and a couple new friends – I eventually made an “early exit” from drinking (as they call it in the Edit podcast). I’m fully immersed in this new way of thinking and living and, above all, sharing the human experience. Read more about my story on my good friend (and podcast co-host!) Karolina’s blog, euphoric alcohol free or listen to my interview on Annie Grace’s podcast, This Naked Mind.
Other than “teetotaler”, I go by many other titles: nurse, dog mom, graduate student, (decaf) coffee lover, girlfriend, New Englander, OTFer, homeowner, meetup facilitator, amateur stand up comedian, podcaster.
This is a blog about not drinking. But more accurately, this is a blog about being an adult remembering how to live again. What do I mean by “living?” I mean being your true self. I mean feeling, thinking, deciding, fucking up, fixing it, remembering, forgiving, loving and hating. In no particular order.
Why morning soda?
One morning at the beginning of my journey back to living (again), in the midst of enjoying the newfound joy that was a hangover-free Saturday morning, I stopped in a newly opened yet instant favorite coffee shop (OB Beans in Ocean Beach, San Diego – a must go!!!!). This particular morning, they were offering a house special – espresso, tonic and housemade strawberry syrup over ice. They called it a Morning Soda.
This both intrigued and excited me. The excitement I had felt ordering it and watching in anticipation as it was mixed was not far off from the feeling you get watching your favorite cocktail being shaken at the bar. I had a realization (which, as it turns out, happens ALOT once you start living) – maybe it isn’t the alcohol that makes for an exciting or pleasant experience, but rather the promise of something new and peculiar that invigorates us. We have all got that innate intrigue inside of us, the eight year old’s natural drive to know “why” everything is and the courage to try something different, and mysterious and scary. Maybe my something new and mysterious is meant to be this attempt at maneuvering life as a sober adult in a sea of peer pressure, in a world where we all vie and worship something to dull the senses, to exaggerate emotion, to perpetuate memory loss and lend to forgotten unforgettable nights. Maybe this is MY morning soda. Maybe this is the morning to the rest of my life. Maybe tonic tastes better with coffee rather than gin. Maybe its OK to drink soda in the morning and mix coffee with fruit and do whatever else you fucking want.
My Morning Soda was ready. It was bubbly, it was cold, it was bitter and sour and sweet and it left me energized. But it also left me enlightened. I hope you enjoy this little blog as much as I enjoy sharing my quirky, fizzy experiences with you.